Sometimes, I wonder if my brain thinks it is psychic and can predict the future as I am constantly coming up with new ways to overthink situations and the results of what would come from that. Now that I understand it is probably our ‘Ego’ self (I will get into more of that in a later blog post) trying to protect ourselves and use barriers to prevent us from trying new things and experiencing personal growth. In a way, we should be thanking our brain because it is like a protective mother trying to keep us from harm’s way, but we cannot expect to go through life living in fear or anxiety of the unknown. Coping mechanisms that tend to happen through overthinking is anxiety from the outcome of a situation and your brain telling you ways it will not go your way. Procrastination is also another result of overthinking as we tend to worry about the outcome so much, we decide to hold ourselves away from doing the task in the first place. So, how can we change this?
Before we look into how we can alter the negative frame, it is important to understand several things about our thoughts and worries. I came across several insights that have enlightened me on how to have a different outlook on my thoughts and try and second guess what my brain is trying to say.
“Worrying does not affect the outcome”
“You are not your thoughts and feelings”
When it comes to worrying, the only outcome you can affect is not completing the task you were supposed to. No matter what, deadlines are going to go past, job opportunities will be taken and a party will continue to happen. We can choose whether we want to be involved in that or not, but just imagine the outcome if we were? I have noticed that when I overthink, it will be like playing a game of ‘what if?’ Not to get into horoscopes too much but as I am a Virgo, certain traits within my star sign means I am incredibly systematic and pragmatic when it comes to my thoughts. It makes me a great organiser, but I end up coming up with every outcome of a situation (Sort of like Dr Strange in Avengers Infinity War). Although, I started to realise my games of ‘what if’ were very one-sided and only gave me negative outcomes of a situation. Let’s gather ourselves an alter ego and look at the positives, shall we? Perhaps we can play a new game, for every negative thought we come up with, we think of a positive thought to go alongside it.
Say for example, you were overthinking about going to a social gathering.
Negative: What if they don’t like me?
Positive: What if they like me and I end up making new friends?
Negative: What if I embarrass myself?
Positive: What if I have a laugh and make a great memory?
Negative: I look shit though, I do not want anyone to see me
Positive: I have given myself a lazy day so now I feel fully rejuvenated to get ready and let my hair down
If the overthinking cannot stop, at least you are trying to counteract these negative perspectives and as much as we want to believe we know everything, if you do not try something, you will never know what would have happened if we did go. Now, back onto the point of ‘you are not your thoughts and feelings.’ What does that even mean? Well your thoughts are only a small part of any experience since your thoughts and your mindset can alter your external reality. But think of your thoughts as a room of your subconscious filled with everything you have seen, heard and experienced throughout your life. Then, that room creates a mind map of everything that could happen due to what it thinks everything you have heard about is part of your life. Everyday, we constantly watch the News or see updates in local crime. Our minds cannot detect that that is someone else’s experience and not a part of our own. So when we next go outside or try and do something out of our comfort zone, our brains naturally go: “oh this happened to that individual, which means this will happen to me”. You see in films all the time of the main character getting embarrassed and you feel sympathy for them and wish that does not happen to yourself. Suddenly, the next time a similar experience happens within your life your thoughts will do everything they can to prevent that.
However, if you take away the thoughts of the past and future and leave yourself in the current state of feeling present in the moment, your thoughts seem a lot less busy. For example, say if you were sitting in your room, think about being sat in your room. Whether you are scrolling through social media or watching TV, try not to think about the past or future. Past and future situations tend to align as you use your past experiences to prevent or alter the same things happening in the future. Everytime I catch myself overthinking, I try to take a deep breath and remind myself “I am here” “I am present”. I am sure you have heard the benefits of meditation and what it can do to improve our state and wellbeing. I am just saying, but if an incredibly vast amount of people state how good meditation is, it damn well is. I am no professional in meditation and to be honest it can take a while to shut my brain off. But the more awareness and practice into realising our brain is not focused on the present and reminding ourselves to not look into the future, we will more likely be able to take steps one at a time and feel less overwhelmed with our own thoughts.
This post was created for Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 by the Mental Health Foundation with the theme being kindness. I will be posting every day this week to depict different perspectives on how we can kinder to others and ourselves.
My last post was how we can be kind to ourselves, which you can read here: https://punnyillustrations.wixsite.com/website/post/self-confidence-affirmations
Be sure to follow my Instagram @punnyillustrations_ for more.
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