*Inappropriate language is used within this blog
Is it just me, or do some tasks that are meant to be classed as ‘normal’ errands scare the living shit out of you? There have been days where if the phone rings, I would genuinely be too anxious to answer the phone and I just do not video call people, video calling in my life is non-existent. But why have I created such fear for myself? Is it the fear of the unknown and not being able to see the person’s body language or I just feel on the spot as it is only my voice they can hear? Either way, it is certainly a life I do not want to live anymore and I have been trying to look into ways to build my self-confidence and well: to stop giving a fuck.
Just before Christmas last year, my anxiety got incredibly bad. Social situations became too overwhelming for me and I pretty much cooped myself up in my room so no one can see me. I felt unmotivated to do anything, felt uncomfortable in my own skin and put on a brave face when I did need to go outside. As cringey as it sounds but sometimes you need to go through a low point to realise what you have. I started to look into spirituality and looking for answers about how you can look within yourself to alter your external reality.
Everything you absorb goes directly into your subconscious. Throughout the last months of 2019, I was originally working a 3-day night shift which I have got to admit really did make me tired and aggy during the next day. I would then constantly remind myself how little I have of money and constantly worried about it and my mindset was incredibly pessimistic - I thought life had it out for me. Albeit, I am a massive overthinker and perfectionist, which in some instances can be a good thing. But during this time especially, I was a ‘Negative Nancy’ and sometimes my overthinking manifested as I was naturally bringing this mindset into my reality. Now whether you believe this or not is one thing, but the argument is if someone was to look at the same situation in 2 different ways, their outlook will impact how they will go on about it after.
For example, say if you were on your way to work and you accidentally dropped the cup of coffee you’ve just bought. Someone might have a tantrum, storm off and have an angry start to the morning or someone could use the ‘at-least’ method and say “at-least it did not get onto my clothes” or other alternatives like “maybe I could go a day without caffeine”. Perhaps if they asked nicely, the barista would make another one free of charge. This is the same with self-confidence. If I did not answer this phone call, what if I miss an emergency or a job opportunity? We should also all have self-confidence in the fact that we can get ourselves out of situations. Last year, if I had more confidence in myself that money would no longer be an issue for me and I did not spend the happiest time of the year worrying, maybe Christmas would have been a happier time for me.
So what are the littlest things we can do to help get ourselves out of, what I like to call: these ‘negative blackholes’? Because once you’re in it, you just feel stuck. Well a method that is free and easy and can be done every day is to tell yourself you are. Convince yourself that you are confident because if you cannot convince yourself, you won't be able to convince others. In business terms, I am sure you have heard of ‘fake it until you make it’, well eventually you would constantly convince yourself that you are confident, it would not even feel like it is being fake anymore. Ironically, if you are skeptical from the start though and deep down feel like it will not work; it won’t. The whole point is to tell yourself you are confident, so if you are not confident with this confidence technique it will not work, do you get my drift?
When it comes to affirmations, it is all about stating who you are to the world. Here are some affirmations you can say daily, or before a situation that makes you feel nervous. The best statement is with ‘I am’ ‘I have’ ‘I radiate’ instead of ‘I want’ as it states that you are ‘the thing’ and possess it within yourself.
“I am confident”
“I am capable”
“I radiate confidence and positivity”
“I am confident in myself and my abilities”
“I have the power to accomplish anything”
“I am worthy of my dreams and goals”
“I am resilient and can get through anything”
“I have the strength to overcome any challenge”
These are some examples of affirmations you can use! I personally like to write these down and hang it up on a wall by my bed because I naturally look and read these statements every day and my subconscious takes this information in. You can repeat this to yourself in the shower, whilst getting ready, you can record yourself saying them and listen before you go to bed. There are also amazing affirmations meditations on Youtube available, which does all the work for you.
I hope this insight has helped because at the end of the day, we create our own fear.
This post was created for Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 by the Mental Health Foundation with the theme being kindness. I will be posting every day this week to depict different perspectives on how we can kinder to others and ourselves.
My last post was how we can be kind to ourselves, which you can read here: https://punnyillustrations.wixsite.com/website/post/be-kinder-to-ourselves
Be sure to follow my Instagram @punnyillustrations_ for more.
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